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A
Different Drummer 
Back to Basic Toys
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Help
Your Child Make Friends
Moving and Your
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My Son's Best
Friend is a Rat
Ordinary
Discards
The Paper
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Piercing the Barriers
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Whose Dream
Is It?
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10 WAYS TO HELP YOUR CHILD MAKE FRIENDS
by Susan
Taylor Brown
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"How come I don't
have any friends?"
Has your child ever
asked you that question? It's not an easy one to answer.
Children are often cruel to one another and their methods for choosing
friends are often irrational to the adult mind.
Unfortunately,
there is no quick-fix answer to make a child instantly popular.
As parents, the best we can do, is guide our children in the right
direction and teach them the proper skills necessary for making
friends.
Read these ten
simple tips with your child. Talk about how your child can
implement these steps in their daily lives. Show your child by
example what it means to be a good friend.
1.
BE WILLING
TO TAKE A CHANCE
Yes, it's scary to
go to a new class or move into a new neighborhood where you don't know
anyone. Do you feel like everyone is staring at you? Are
you afraid they will laugh at you? Remind your child that someone
has to take the first step. If you're not willing to take a chance,
you'll never make any new friends.
2.
FIND
SOMEONE WHO LIKES THE SAME THINGS YOU DO
It's true; some
people are best friends and have nothing in common. But most
people become friends because they both like to ride bicycles, go
roller-skating or play computer games together. Make a list of
things your child likes to do. Who do you know that likes the
same things? Encourage them to spend time together.
3.
LET PEOPLE
KNOW YOU LIKE THEM
Remind your child
that you don't know when he's hungry unless he tells you. No one
can read minds. Other children are often just as shy or insecure
as your child.
4.
MAKE THEM
FEEL IMPORTANT
Everybody has
something they do really well. And no one ever gets enough
compliments. Teach your child to appreciate other people's
strengths. It will show they really care.
5.
DON'T
WORRY SO MUCH
Some children are
natural born worriers. It's easy to start to wonder - does my new
friend really like me? Remind your child that if they're talking
with you and spending time with you, chances are they DO like
you.
6.
TAKE TIME
TO LISTEN AND TIME TO GIVE
Even very young
children like to share the exciting moments of their day with
someone. Encourage your child to listen as much as they
talk. Listening to each other talk about the good things and bad
is called support. A friend is the best support system you can
have.
7.
DON'T KEEP
SCORE
Friendships aren't
always a 50-50 split. Someone always needs a little more than the
other one. That's okay. Remind your child that when they do a
favor for a friend they don't need to expect something in return.
8.
ACCEPT THE
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOU
Tell your child
that best friends do not need to be twins. Friends can and should
dress differently and like to do different things. Teach your
child to appreciate a friend and to not try and change them.
9.
LEARN HOW
TO APOLOGIZE AND HOW TO FORGIVE
When your child
hurts a friend's feelings, encourage them to say, "I'm sorry."
When your child's feelings are hurt, don't let them hold a grudge.
10.
WORK AT BEING A
GOOD FRIEND
Let your child know
that good friendships don't just happen, they take work. It's
like growing a garden - if you plant some flowers and just water them
once in a while, they might still live, but they wouldn't be very
pretty to look at. Take care of your friendship, feed it well,
and encourage it to grow.
Friends are an
important part of your child's social training. Good friendships
build self-esteem and encourages emotional growth. Make sure your
child has the skills to build solid friendships, and remind them that
the best way to keep a friend is to be a good one yourself!
Printable
version of
this article.
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Susan Taylor Brown
is the author of books for children including Can I Pray With My Eyes Open?, Oliver's
Must-Do List, and Robert
Smalls Sails to Freedom.
You can read more about her at:
http://www.susantaylorbrown.com
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This
article is
offered to any Parenting Publications as free content for you to
reprint.
All I ask is that you keep the bio information about me
(above) with the article.
I would appreciate
it if you would write and let
me know where it is being used. |
|
|
A
Different Drummer
Back to Basic Toys
Family
Mailbox
Help
Your Child Make Friends
Moving and Your
Child
My Son's Best
Friend is a Rat
Ordinary
Discards
The Paper
Route
Piercing the Barriers
The Chore
Game
Whose Dream
Is It?
|
